Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize