Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
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found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
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His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
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