I just pynch a tree in the face
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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