Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
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Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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