whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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