Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize