this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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