I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize