Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize