I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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