You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize