i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
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She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
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We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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