You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize