the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
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You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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