She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i came on her dog
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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