She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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