i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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