I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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