Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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