He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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