To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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