All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
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He uses pillows to masturbate.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize