And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i barfeds in our rink
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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