you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
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I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
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DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
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