Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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