How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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