Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Randomize