somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize