Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize