she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize