i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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