She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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