How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize