Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
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It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
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It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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