And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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