im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
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He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It's blow job season.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
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I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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