all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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