Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize