At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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