their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
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why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
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New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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