i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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