chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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