thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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