i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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