maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize