i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize