Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize