EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize