Ambien. No doubt about it.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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