Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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